Time Out!

My mom just commented that I hadn't blogged in a while. Very true. I am taking a break. Why? My top 2 reasons:

1. I am doing a computer project for the American Pain Foundation and I only have so many available hours at a computer before my back gives out -- and right now those hours are focused on something else.

2. Currently my life is focused on my husband. He got laid off and so he (we) are searching / researching / evaluating / considering / determining / dreaming about / worrying about (well, that's just me) / etc. the next chapter in our life. But that's mostly Mike's story and I am not comfortable blogging about Mike's story (too much), so I am taking time off to be there for Mike.

I will return when I have something I can say. Till then, take care of yourselves.

The Roller Coaster of Life

Can a person ‘sprain’ their mid-back? Seems unlikely to me since the mid-back isn't as mobile as the upper or lower back. But it sure feels like I strained my mid-back. It’s in the t5 to right shoulder blade area – the same place I always have low-grade chronic pain, but this is different. This is a stabbing pain – like a big knife jabbing and pulling – ripping across my mid-back. It even hurts to breathe. And, I also have pain on the front side of a lower rib. What has changed?

This morning I went to my monthly pain clinic appointment and we talked about this pain. The pain near t5 is the same rib that comes around the front so those two pains are related. Since breathing is important, it’s time to reconsider the procedure that the pain clinic wants to try which shoves a needle in my back and ‘burns’ the nerve in that area, killing the nerve (and hopefully the pain) sensations.

The thought of that procedure used to scare me to a frenzy. Now, the Effexor (anti-depressant) has kicked in and nothing sends me over the edge. The doctor and I also talked about that. I say I’m dull and boring and numb. She says I’m more even-keeled and not prone to such low (or such high) mood swings. Is that a good thing? Boring is not ok by me. Dull is not ok. Numb is not a good thing for me. Now I have to figure out how to become not so boring, dull and numb without the major lows.

The roller coaster of life – and I need to be on the child’s version – small hills and valleys. Blah…..

When Do Two Negatives Make a Positive?

(WARNING: Poop happens, so if that bothers you, you probably should NOT read this blog.)

Because of the chronic pain from my broken back, I take an opioid pain medication (morphine). (I won’t take the time to explain safe use, storage and disposal – just know that I do them all.) One of the most pronounced negative side effects of opioid use is constipation. Sometimes it can be bad enough where a person has to take action (like increasing fiber intake, taking stool softeners, etc) to reduce the constipation. Luckily, the medicine only causes mild constipation in me.

Fast forward to the present. A couple months ago, I was prescribed the anti-depressant Effexor. The doctor said one of the most common negative side effects with this medicine is loose bowel movements or diarrhea.

Put those two negative side effects together in me – and they seem to off-set each other. A positive reaction: more regular poop. Poop happens and it’s much better when it happens regularly. So two negatives can make a positive!

Silly Questions I Have Too Much Time to Think About

Most of the people I know are way too busy to think about the silly little things in life … not me. Here’s my latest time-consuming, mind-boggling thoughts:

How do the birds know when I put food in the bird feeder? The bird feeder had been empty for a few days. There were zero birds in sight. A couple days ago, I filled the bird feeder. In less then 5 minutes, there were more than 50 birds in my yard attacking the bird seed. So, how do they know? Is one little bird sitting look out and then speed dialing on the bird cell phone to all the other little birdies? Can they smell the seeds? Are they chirping out the message? I don’t know. I don’t get it. It’s fun to watch anyway.

How does the refrigerator get so dirty when I haven’t spilled anything? We are careful with our food, enclosing it in plastic containers or wrapping it in foil. We throw out bad food. We wipe containers before putting them away. So, how come when I cleaned the frig last week, it was totally yucky? Crumbs, sticky spots and residue. Where does the dirt come from?

How come our cats come inside to go to the bathroom? Don’t they realize that when they are outside the whole world is their cat box? Why do they find it necessary to come inside to use the regular cat box and then want to go right back outside?

My mind never stops thinking, processing, whirring. It’s tiring … and all for such trivial stuff.

5 Steps to Safe Use of Rx

I haven’t written too much lately about my pain and my pain medications. I find that continual talk about pain ensures that the pain remains #1 on my brain … and that’s painful (and tiring). However, safe use of prescription medications is always on my mind. Many states, including North Carolina, are finding ways to fight prescription drug abuse/diversion. I don’t believe it should be up to the government. I think I need to be responsible for my medication … and I believe YOU need to be responsible for YOUR medication.

Dr. Herbert Neuman, of Covidien Pharmaceuticals and the C.A.R.E.S. (Collaborating and Acting Responsibly to Ensure Safety) Alliance recently wrote a good article with 5 steps for safe use of prescription medications. His steps are:

1. Use only as directed. If a pain medication does not provide sufficient relief, talk to your doctor about other options. Simply increasing the dose can be dangerous.
2. Never share. National research shows that approximately 70% of abuse cases begin with a legitimate prescription that is shared by a friend or relative, often with the good intention of helping relieve a loved one’s pain.
3. Lock it up. Cases of abuse by family members or others who steal prescriptions are all too common. Medicine cabinets, accessible by all, including visitors, are NOT the place for most prescription medicines.
4. Dispose of extras. Check with the DEA or local drug stores for the next drug collection day. This eliminates the potential for theft or misuse of unused medications.
5. Spread the word. If we work together, we can make a difference. Are you taking responsibility for your medicines? Check out the C.A.R.E.S. Alliance or the American Pain Foundation’s PainSafe site for more information.

Making Decisions for Other People

I just finished watching a Toyota commercial. I have seen it numerous times – and each time it irritates me. I want to know if this is normal.

In this particular Toyota commercial, a couple is searching for a new car. A second man enters the picture and calls the first man, “Buzz. Buzz Saw?” ‘Buzz’ and his woman/wife look at each other. The other man says the old band is getting back together and would ‘Buzz Saw’ be interested. Now, my irritation.

‘Buzz’ doesn't give the first answer. Before gathering any information, or talking it over, the woman declares, “NO.” And there it is, the woman decided that her man was NOT going to participate in the band.

Whoa! Wait a second. Who is she that she can make final decisions for her mate? What if he wants to do it? Doesn't he get a say so (or at least the ability to explain)?

I don’t ‘own’ my husband (and he doesn't own me). Sure, we collaborate and discuss and make joint decisions, but we don’t answer for each other. Do you feel you ‘own’ your mate and can make decisions for him/her? Do you like it when someone decides for you?

I know, it’s only a commercial, but it may portray actual life ... and that doesn't sit well with me. At least it isn't the Geico commercial in which the little piggy says ‘wheeeeee’ all the way home!

Tragedy in Tucson: Politics or Parenting?

Along with everyone else, I am sending prayers to all those affected by the senseless shooting last weekend in Tucson, Arizona.

Should we blame it on today’s political environment? How about gun laws? Or maybe the mental health system? Or maybe there is no blame … it is what it is.

I have an opinion. Why don’t we look at parenting? Parents need to know what is going on in their children’s lives. Some parenting ‘experts’ say – Foster their creativity. Give them their freedom. Promote independence. Urge them to dream. Inspire them to be who they are.

What about boundaries … and discipline … and being involved. I’m not saying that parenting can solve all problems, and I’m not saying to smother creativity, freedom and independence; however, I believe parenting makes a difference.

We seem to live in a world of entitlement where everyone thinks the world revolves around them and they deserve stuff … without earning it.

Many times we parents act (we really believe we are) too busy and forget that parenting is a total commitment. We are thrilled when the kid is behind closed doors and quiet, or out with friends – so we can do what we want to do.

We don’t make it a priority to know what’s going on in our children’s lives. I don’t care if it takes spying or prying, it is a parent’s responsibility to know what their kids are doing, who they are friends with, how they are feeling, etc. And, when necessary, we need to step in and take action to change their direction.

Finally, I do not believe that parents are/should be/ can be their child’s friend. I am the parent – not the friend.

Parenting is an awesome responsibility and not to be taken lightly. We cannot stand back and expect our kids to grow up to be productive members of society if we don’t lead, teach and model that behavior.

I guess it’s my pet peeve. It’s easy to have a baby – it’s tough to be a parent. Perhaps if we parents took it more seriously; got help when we need it; and stayed involved in our children’s lives, we could stop some of this insane behavior.

Soup and Sandwich

My husband has traditional traits. Dinner should include meat, starch and veggies (and probably a glass of wine). Soup and sandwich for dinner? Not in his repertoire. But that doesn't stop me from experimenting. At least my experimenting included one of his favorites – beans (and if his sons are reading this, yup, Dad still has the traditional bean aftermath!).

Soup from a can and a simple grilled cheese sandwich are not good enough for my main man. I made homemade Tuscan Bean Soup, rosemary peasant bread and a grilled cheddar cheese, bacon and apple sandwich. YUM!

I did cheat a little and used beans (kidney, cannelloni and chick peas) from the can and chicken stock from the box, but I chopped fresh onions, carrots, celery and garlic (and used frozen tomatoes that I grew this past summer). Plus I used fresh rosemary, thyme, oregano and a bay leaf from my garden.

The peasant bread is similar to restaurant bread where you dip it in the oil on the plate. It was an easy (but time-consuming) recipe with NO kneading. A very sticky dough requiring well-oiled hands. I love warm homemade bread with dinner.

Finally, I used some of the peasant bread and made delicious grilled sandwiches overflowing with cheddar cheese, bacon and Granny Smith apple slices.

What did Mike say about a non-traditional dinner? “Yum.” When I asked for specific feedback (I’m all about continuous improvement), he said, “Yum. Yum. (dramatic pause) I’d like to have this again.” I guess that says it all.

The only downside was (no, not the clean-up …. in our house, whoever cooks gets to rest and the other person cleans up) so much chopping. After I just blogged about pushing yourself and not taking pain medicine unless you REALLY need it …. I really need it. OUCH and YUM!

A Day of Learning – Part 2

My learning (this time about some people) continued yesterday at my regular monthly appointment at the Pain Clinic. In an effort to avoid a repeat of last month’s three minute appointment, I went in with an extremely positive and upbeat attitude (I also drank a lot of water on the way figuring it was time for a random pee in the cup drug test).

While I’m not a fan of being required to have a drug test to see the doctor, I am learning to be more accepting of it. That’s the way it is (and I’m not going to change it). It makes me feel like a criminal when I've done nothing wrong. However, the more I learn about drug abuse and diversion, the more I understand why it is required. They are checking to make sure I have the right amount of the prescribed medicines in my system. One time an upstanding, well-dressed, intelligent woman came to the pain clinic. For several months in a row, her drug test showed ZERO medicines in her system. She didn't really need the medicine, never took it and instead sold the pills (did you know one oxycodone pill can get $15 on the street). Come on people. Stop making it harder for people like me who live with pain and welcome the relief prescription pain medication gives. As the doctor said, it’s about being trustworthy.

After the pee in the cup discussion, my doctor and I discussed body awareness. I have both extended release (ER) and immediate release (IR) pain medicine. ER is taken every 12 hours to keep the pain in check. The IR is ONLY used when there is a major flare-up. Yet, the doctor gave me examples of people who took IR three times a day whether they really needed or not.

We have to know our bodies and the seriousness of the medicines. Each of us probably wakes up from time to time with aches and pains – that doesn't mean it’s a flare-up and you can take morphine. When I have LOWER back pain (unrelated to my broken back, but maybe caused by lifting incorrectly), I do NOT take morphine – that’s not what it was prescribed for.

People in pain need to push themselves. I don’t mean we need to physically hurt ourselves or cause more damage, but we need to stop wallowing around in self-pity and try to do as much as we can before we give up and pop another pill.

And we need to take responsibility for our medication (lock them up people). One guy decided the people in his house weren't trustworthy so he locked his medicines in his car. Three months in a row, he came to the pain clinic with a police report saying his medicine was stolen from the car and he needed another prescription. REALLY? No. Capital NO. H. E. L. L. NO. Get real and get trustworthy.

So, part 2 of learning is related to people, their excuses, stories and gimmicks. I want to believe in the good in people. And while I believe that most people in pain are legitimate, I wish I never had to learn about how people lie, cheat and steal.

A Day of Learning – Part 1

Even regular activities offer me the opportunity for learning. Today was a great example. For months, we've been accumulating empty, dried-out paint containers (from the house painting adventure). Cary, North Carolina is a major recycling town and in the past, I've read that paint buckets need to recycled. But, they can’t just go to the neighborhood recycling center; they need to go to the regional hazardous waste sites.

Turns out, empty paint buckets no longer need to be recycled; they can simply go in the regular garbage. You mean I could have thrown these away any time? Since I was there, the recycling attendant and I had a contest tossing the paint buckets into the gondolas of garbage. Entertainment at the junkyard. The buckets are fairly easy to toss, but the tops – that’s another story. We tried the Frisbee throw. I wasn't that successful.

I also learned that if there is paint left in the container, recycle it. They pump all the paint into a 400 gallon container and spray that paint on the landfill area as an odor reducer. Really?

Finally, I stopped at the cardboard recycling area to get rid of a truckload of cardboard. I must say, I like the Cary recycling center better. If I go alone, one of the helpers ALWAYS helps me unload (do I use my feminine wiles – well, maybe just a little). At this recycling center, the helper just watched as I unloaded the cardboard – he did not lift a finger. I know it’s not his job, but he wasn't doing anything but watching me at the time.

So, I learned about paint recycling and I have a cleaner garage. A good start to the day.

Back to Routine

The Christmas decorations are packed away and I’m back to my regular routine. But before that, I need to recap our mostly uneventful Christmas-New Year’s break. When we woke up the day after Christmas, we had 7” of snow. Mike made snow angels; I gathered wood for a warm fire. Less than a week later, all the snow had melted and it was 65 and sunny. Mike rented a log splitter. For only $90 (the cost of renting the log splitter, since Progress Energy donated the wood to us when they cleared out the trees in our neighborhood to prevent any falling on their power lines), we now have enough firewood to last several years. How cool!

Now Mike is back to work and I am busy cleaning and de-cluttering the house. I really need to take a trip to the local recycling center to eliminate the piles of cardboard sitting in the garage.