Measuring Success

Yesterday, I was talking on the phone talking to my mom telling her what I was doing for Pain Awareness Month. I made multiple library displays, packed numerous APF bags with handouts, scheduled half a dozen community presentations, organized proclamations and did all the supporting media alerts/releases. I’m tired. And it’s not even September yet.

We commiserated about how busy I have been. Then I really thought about it. Truth told … this work equates to about one to two hours a day a couple days a week … in between resting time (stuffing bags, cutting and pasting on display boards, etc – all extremely painful). Put in perspective, it doesn't compare to a REAL workload.

So, how do I measure success? Success used to be measured in how much work I did, how much money I made, how many people I helped. Activities. Billable hours. Numbers. Recognitions.

Now, it is measured from within. If I gave it my all … if I tried … if I did MY best … if I know inside me that I lived up to MY potential … then I AM A SUCCESS!

Yummy Doughnuts – I overdid it!

And I don’t mean by eating too many doughnuts. I overdid it when I made homemade doughnuts this morning. My husband’s office is moving today, so Mike can’t go to the office to work. Instead he is working from home. Yesterday he mentioned that he was bummed out because Friday is doughnut day at work (someone picks up a couple dozen doughnuts on the way in to work) and that wouldn’t happen with the office closed.

I heard and I took action. I got up early this morning and make the dough. Went back to bed for an hour while it rose. I rolled and cut the doughnuts, cooked them, covered them (some with cinnamon-sugar, others with powdered sugar, and some with a glaze).

YUM! Mike ate (and ate some more) and then said, “You either are masochistic or really like me … or maybe both.” I replied, “I’m definitely not both” as I sat down and rested my back contemplating if I can take some pain medication this early. The rolling, cutting, cooking, dipping, sprinkling, etc ALL aggravated the muscles in the back creating excruciating pain.

Now, I will rest for much of the rest of the day. The pain definitely is no fun, but the look of enjoyment on Mike’s face was worth it. I guess I really do like him … a lot!

Visiting a Pain Support Group

To help spread the word about September’s Pain Awareness Month, I’m speaking to as many community and pain support groups that I can find. Today, I visited a Fibro/Pain Support group in Cary, NC.

Before I presented my information, we went around the room introducing ourselves and our issues. During that time, we talked about journaling, different treatments, caregiver support and so many other topics that I include in my talk. Made giving my talk even easier.

Visiting these groups reminds me that pain comes in very different forms and each individual’s pain is important to be recognized and treated seriously. But, what stands out in my mind is that each person feels many of the same losses (identity, friends, hobbies, relationships, etc.) So, people with pain, hear me: YOU ARE NOT ALONE! YOU ARE NORMAL!

Also, people with pain – be nice to your caregivers! Don’t take advantage of them. Don’t abuse their help. And caregivers: Set boundaries. Take care of yourself first. You are no good to anyone if you are not good to yourself first.

To that special person with pain who is also a caregiver I met today: WOW! You are so amazing. So special. Please be kind to yourself and know that prayers are being circulated for you!

Today, I received two more calls for presentations and another library for a display during September. Woo Hoo!

Yesterday’s Fun Makes for Today’s Rest

Last night, Wendy and I went to the Colbie Caillat and Sheryl Crow concert at Koka Booth Amphitheatre in Cary, North Carolina. The setting is very nice. It’s a medium size outdoor venue with lots of trees on the border. Once the sun went down, even the weather was comfortable.

I like Colbie Caillat music anyway and the band sounded really good. I watched the bass player with interest – my husband plays bass. This guy had the look and style that I think my husband should emulate.

Then Sheryl Crow came on stage. I was expecting Sheryl standing around playing guitar and singing nice ballads most of the evening. Nice, but nothing spectacular. I was pleasantly surprised. She has a new band and the performance was much funkier, higher energy than I expected. I liked it.

Wendy is one of my ‘person with pain’ friends. I don’t know why I feel the need to have to add that description, but for this story it’s helps. Wendy has a handicapped parking sticker. There’s both a positive and negative side to that. Yes, we parked up front meaning less walking. That’s good. But, by the end of the concert – sitting, standing, walking, clapping, etc – we hurt and needed close parking. So, close parking isn’t always a great thing … it means we are paying a price for the fun we had. And today, I’m still paying that price. But, as I usually say, it was worth it!

Always Tired

I woke up this morning tired. I’m always tired.

Part way through the day, I’ll be trying to do something productive at my computer and I’ll fall asleep sitting at the computer. That’s only a small problem. It was a much bigger problem when I was driving home from Tennessee Monday. The Raleigh-Nashville drive that used to take just over 8 hours, now takes over 10. I had to stop several times to take short power naps.

Am I tired because I don’t sleep well? Or because my brain uses too much energy fighting pain? Or because I take prescription pain medication? Do I sleep poorly because I hurt? Or do I hurt more because I sleep poorly? Where does sleep apnea fit in?

No matter what the root cause or the symptoms, I am tired … always. I plan my life around being tired. How do you deal with it?

It's grandbaby time

Leaving my husband at home, I drove to Nashville, Tennessee today to spend a long weekend with my beautiful daughter Katie, her super husband Jason and adorable grandson Brady. I get Brady all to myself Friday and most of Saturday while Katie and Jason are at work and then at a wedding. Hooray for Brady and me!

The drive was really, REALLY long. I drove through several torrential rain storms with accompanying thunder, lightening and hail. The windshield wipers on as high as they could go still couldn't keep up. And crazy drivers don't know how to drive in rain -- slow down and increase the distance. Saw several accidents including a flipped 18-wheeler. The rain and the accidents definitely made the drive longer than usual.

And, of course, holding the steering wheel causes the muscles in the back to contract meaning spasms and increased pain. Big OUCH! It's time for me to lay down and relax the back ... I have to be ready for Brady time in the morning.

I'm always considering if chosen activities are worth the price I'm going to pay for increased pain. In this case, the answer is absolutely YES!

Two People to Meet – Depending on Where You Live

I highly recommend Jane Paul and Julie Donnelly … depending on where you live. Both are massage therapists (but not the Swedish massage type) who work miracles on the body. Jane lives south of Nashville, Tennessee and Julie lives in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

I've known Jane for years and she has worked on my body too many times to count. To me, she is a healer and miracle worker. Since moving to NC, I haven’t found anyone that can compare to Jane … until today.

Today, I met Julie Donnelly. She uses many of the same techniques that Jane uses and even a lot of the same words. I found Julie through a Google Alert – my key words are NC, chronic, pain. A link to a video by Julie talking about self-therapy focused on the iliopsosas muscle caught my attention.

Sometimes I just want to forget about my back pain. Even though it’s all connected, I wanted to focus on hip issues. Even if my back pain can’t be fixed completely, I want the rest of my body to work! That’s where the iliopsosas comes in.

Not only did she perform miracles, she taught me how to perform them myself … using a tennis ball and a rolling pin.

I’ll talk more about Julie in the future. For now, visit her web sites, www.julstro.com and www.SportMassageChapelHill.com. I wish body miracles for you too!

The Contradiction in my Rock 'n Roll Brain

Rock of Ages, a local band that plays 80s rock ‘n roll covers played at Fat Daddy’s in Raleigh Saturday night. We went. They played all the favorites. I’m still singing, “Pour some sugar on me” from Def Leppard and "Smokin' in the Boy's Room" by Motley Crue and Kiss and Cheap Trick and Poison and ... well, you know.

Not only was it a band playing fun music, it was like a concert – a show. Front man Steve Quinney has the 80s vibe down including jumping up on the bar, running through the audience and getting everyone to join in the fun. And that’s where the contradiction in my brain happens. Steve is old. Nothing wrong with old – I’m old too. But I just don’t think of long hair, high energy rock being performed by someone old. When I’d listen, it sounded great. When I’d look, I’d get confused. I’m not saying it’s wrong for a senior citizen to have so much energy and do something so cool – it just doesn’t fit the image I have of rock ‘n roll.

Having said that you should follow Steve on FaceBook – he says he has low self-esteem and needs friends. I think you should follow because he says funny *$%#.

Beyond the music, I did three smart things Saturday night – I sat (in my prior life, I wouldn’t be caught sitting at a bar … bars are meant for standing and dancing), I looked straight at the band (no twisting my back) and I drank Coke (so I could drive home after Mike downed a couple beers!)