Tired of Doctors

Yesterday, I went to a psychiatrist. Her end result – she said I was depressed and wrote a prescription for an anti-depressant. Of course she did. What else would she do? She gets paid when people come see her and as long as I go back regularly for medication review, she gets paid. My end result might be different. Since I’m going to see my primary care anyway this week, I will see what she thinks – and ask if she can simply write the prescription (if I decide to take it).

How did the psychiatrist get to the depression diagnosis (other than my somewhat sarcastic take that it has to do with $$)? I don’t think I agree with most of her analysis. She thinks that since we were doing something stupid when I broke my back (non-professionals cutting a big tree without safety glasses/equipment); I am punishing myself with the pain. Really? You think I want to hurt? That I feel I deserve to hurt? I agree with the stupid part but not the punishment part. She had other thesis, but who cares?

She did hit one on the head – suck it up. She thinks that I’m a person who sucks it up and deals with it rather than admit the pain, the hurt, the emotions, etc. Totally right. For her that’s a problem. Me? I think that’s a good thing. What’s the point of complaining or making a big deal of stuff that is out of my control. It is what it is. Get over it. She tried to talk me into believing that I shouldn’t suck it up and instead get help (in the form of another pill). We’ll see.

Finally, she said the WORST thing anyone can say to a person with pain. She wanted me to understand that “It’s all in your head.” She really said that … and I called her on it. Told her although I understood what she was TRYING to say, she should never use those words. She tried to weasel her way out of it. “I didn’t say it was all in your head.” YES, you did. “Well, what I meant, it’s biology …” Yes, I know what you meant – the brain controls the pain receptors and so while there is a physical deformity in your spine and your back hurts, we can possibly make a difference by taking a pill that interacts with the brain’s pain receptors.

Not sure I’ll go back to her … or what I’ll do. I’m just so tired of doctors … and tomorrow I go to the sleep apnea dentist to get my mouthpiece (hopefully that will allow me to sleep better); Thursday I go to the orthopedist for a follow-up on my shoulder pain (it’s at 50% and maybe that’s good enough); and Friday to my primary care for the 2^nd part of my physical.