The Frustration of Pain

I hurt. I hurt a lot. And I am frustrated.

I normally try to put on a happy face figuring what’s the use of complaining … it doesn’t make the pain go away. When people say, “It’s all in your head,” I usually agree. Oh, the pain is real, but the brain controls the pain receptors and attitude can affect pain.

Today, I’m not wearing a happy face. Everyday I am limited in what I can do, but sometimes I try to push the limits. Yesterday, I made a homemade pizza. I chopped some garlic, a small onion and some fresh herbs. Then I made pizza dough and kneaded it for five to ten minutes. Really, about 15 minutes of physical activity (and very light physical activity at that – it’s not like I lifted weights and worked out for a couple hours). OUCH! I knew I was going to pay a price for the delight of a homemade pizza. I didn’t realize how big a price I was going to have to pay.

Last night, in addition to my regular dose of extended release morphine, I took a full dose of immediate release morphine for breakthrough pain. I also took a muscle relaxant according to my prescribed amount. Although not pain-free, it did reduce the burning, throbbing pain enough so I could get to sleep.

I woke up this morning – in pain. And every character typed in this post increases the pain. I guess my only activity today will be eating leftover (delicious) homemade pizza. Oh, the price and frustration of pain.